Wedding Chat with Sande - What Makes a Marriage Strong?
Up to now, Wedding Chat with Sande has been all about planning the perfect wedding. That's important for sure, but what about after the event? Husband & wife begin to navigate through the journey of marriage. Anyone who's done it knows it's not always easy!
I've told you that I stalk all my wedding couples on Facebook. Because I feel like their "wedding mom", I take joy watching them having fun with friends, buying houses, having babies and enjoying one another. I also see their occasional lows, and I am sad with them. But in the end, I see strong relationships.
I wanted today's chat to be about LOVE. I am a hopeless romantic who totally believes in the fairy tale. I thought I'd find some words of wisdom from inspirational people. I researched the internet some and then it occurred to me that I have the inspiration right in front of me - my couples! I can see the strength of these couples so I know they are doing something right! So I polled them - I asked them this - " what is the one thing you have learned that keeps you marriage strong?" I got some amazing responses!!!!
I also started at home by asking my Timmy what his secret to putting up with me is, I mean, what his secret to keeping our marriage strong is and he said this "Communication. And it's all about give and take. Can't be "all about me", there should be more giving and less taking." He truly lives by that - he is the most generous, thoughtful, giving man I could ever ask for!"
Read my couple's advice ~> ~>
Megan Longoria - I have learned that no matter how big or little the argument is at the end of the day he is my number one support. We talk it out and we make sure that we both understand how each other feels. We never leave an argument open without a solution. That is what keeps our marriage strong. We ALWAYS communicate. That is the key to our marriage being successful
Megan Morales - I’d say never stop having fun together. Sometimes during the week we are exhausted from work so on the weekends we love to enjoy our time together.
Jessica Espindola - Communication!!! I personally am not good with communication at all! But one thing that has held us together through these past thirteen years is learning how to communicate with each other. Relationships are not easy, and we have definitely had a bumpy road but we would have never made it if Jon would not have made me sit down and talk and let him know what’s bothering me! So essentially I guess it would be never holding your feelings in and be honest with your better half.
Desiree Martinez - Hmm the trust that we have for each other is a big one. We are big on communication and we keep each other laughing!
Devin Norman - I would say to choose your battles and let the small things go. Always appreciate one another.
AnaBelle Stevens - I would have to say making sure to get alone time together. Between work and the baby and everyday life it’s important to set aside that alone time for one another
Michelle Ramos - One thing we have learned that really keeps our marriage strong is making sure to still go on dates and enjoy each others company without involving the stresses of the world (at least for that evening!) We loved dating so much, and definitely keep that part of our lives important!
Melinda McNabb - We have learned that communication and compromise and teamwork is what makes our relationship work. We quickly found out that what everyone said was true about marriage it is most definitely hard work. But it’s also fun at the same time. We love being married. We remind each other every day why we fell in love with one another.
Sierra Townley - To never go to bed upset. Always tell your spouse how you are feeling. Just to be honest with each other.
Danielle & Ray Fitzgerald - Our co-answer. Sorry for the delayed response, things have been really hectic for the both of us. I wish it was a simple response to a simple question so we will try and sum it up as best as we can: Love, and staying in love. Keeping God at the center of Us, ensures that the foundation of our marriage is strong and healthy... Staying in love is an action that we take, it is being tired from work and still making sure that we get the best of one another, it is taking that extra step(that seems so small sometimes) that says "I love you!" In such a big way. We are sorry for the long response but, simply put: We love God and allow him to run the show, and we go the extra mile to remind one another that we are in love. Well... That and a whole bunch of laughs. And spontaneous, awesome dance moves. And beautiful smiles.
Ray: "Danielle has the most beautiful smile, you can see it in her soul and it shines." Again, sorry for the novel.
Alissa Yendrey - Well we have open communication, he’s my best friend, we constantly jest with one another, always love n laugh, we go on adventures, we’re open to each other suggestions such as movies, hobbies, and restaurants in a effort to find more things we have in common with one another. We honestly do love each other more than yesterday each and every day I know that sounds crazy but it’s amazing. Even though we are married and have been for nearly a year now, we are still learning new things about one another with each passing day which helps every day to have some measure of excitement that was unplanned. To this day, we still have yet to have a single fight or argument which is surely unheard of in some relationships, but the truth is our free personalities allow for a perfect synergy with one another that always keeps things in the positive.
Marilyn Martignoni - Aaron is my best friend through and through. We have already gone through so crazy stressful things but he remains my best friend and husband. Laughing about every thing. Even at fights.
Alyssa Teinert - Patience. Having patience with one another and understanding your spouse’s point of view if it differs from yours.
Ashley Valenzuela - For us we have learned that thanking each other for even the small things means a lot to both of us, making time for each other to do special things is extremely important to us, and showing love to each other no matter what kind of mood the day has put us in. Marriage is amazing and we are loving every moment of it! I know you said one thing but I feel like we have learned so much lol!!
Kristian Duque - I would have to say God and Communication! I can’t just pick one. There’s so much!
Selena Montano - Hmm..soo i would have to say the number one thing is making time for us. With having such hectic lives, and a ton of kids..lol..date nights are a must. But also communication is one thing Andrew and I took a long time to get down. We wouldn’t express our feelings to one another, and that would cause a lot of fights later on. I could probably sit here all day and tell you all I’ve learned in our 5 years lol bc we all know it’s not been an easy road, but it’s one I wouldn’t change for anything. All of our trials have gotten us to where we are now.
Shelbey Garza - We tell each other everything even when it’s something small bothering us. We don’t go to bed mad at each other
Shelby Castner - I would say We have learned to appreciate each others opposites
Kelsey Woods - We have to remember that we both feel love in different ways and through different actions. I cannot expect Andrew to feel loved unless I love him in ways he feels love. I know that sounds kinda crazy but it makes sense for us. For him that might be just respecting him as my husband or sitting on the SAME little recliner to watch tv!
Naomi Westerman - I would say forgiveness. We all need to forgive and be forgiven to create a nourishing environment for a stronger marriage.
Kristina Walker - Excepting ones feelings and not being afraid or ashamed to feel what you feel at that time but instead respecting and understanding how the other one feels
Caitlin Goodman - Communication is everything and never go to bed angry. It sounds super cliche but it's the absolute truth. It's the rule we've always lived by, and it really works.
Gloria Presley - Being older I have more patience, not just hearing, but really listen to when my Husband is talking. I don’t sweat all the lil stuff like when we we younger. So much more relaxed. You should invite older women like my age to do a boudoir shoot to surprise their husband. My Husband still looks and loves mine.
Alexandria Catechis - We cook dinner and eat at the table together every day. It is where we are able to connect and communicate. We both live our own individual life throughout the day but by the end of the day whatever happened we were able to let it go and just be present in that moment together. By communication and being present keeps us strong. Of course we plan for the future and set goals, but since the hurricane I think it’s made both of us realize to just be present and listen to each other.
Amanda Gonzales - I’d say Putting God first & then each other second! Without God your marriage has no foundation! But with God you are unstoppable team! God is love & will keep you & your husband United as one!
Kimberly Morales - I would have say our family is what make my marriage strong & time spent with one another
Robyn Benavides - The one thing that we have learned that keeps our marriage strong is putting God first! We couldn’t be more happier with our marriage today! It feels like we just married. Love each other more and more every day!
Cassie Jimenez - Always kissing each other upon hellos and goodbyes
Emili Boniface - Well, it's not really what we've learned for our marriage, it is more like what we continue to do. Being in love with someone and spending your life with them to us is basically an eternal friendship. We are each other's best friend. Meaning we just tell each other everything and anything. We try not to keep things bottled up and when we do run into a problem we sit and calmly explain what we are feeling. But you probably already know that! It's really simply for us... We just talk about anything and keep an open mind towards each other. We feel comfortable with each other to be completely honest and still be understanding. W e support each other 100% and even though we trust each other, we still talk about a decision that either of us makes about life or money or anything.
Shana Clark - Communicate!
How amazing was that?? Wow - thank you for all the wonderful advice!!
I'll finish with my advice. Timmy is my second husband. We met in 2000 and married in 2004. He is a godsend to me. No doubt. I continue to learn what makes us better. When I look at him, I see a kind, gentle, quiet man who never complains, works hard and will do anything I ask of him. In return, I am grateful. I thank him for every thing he does, no matter how small. I let him know I appreciate him and am lucky to have him. I apologize when my mouth gets away from me - lucky for me he is also very forgiving. Like Gloria Presley said above, when you are older you have more patience and pick your battles carefully. I am a very blessed woman.
I wish you all not just a day of love but I lifetime of love!!
This blog is dedicated to the memory of William Walker.