Harvey Has Stolen My Joy
Day 9 with no electricity. According to the AEP website, it will be today. I hope it's true. I am sitting by my front window while it's still fairly cool. By "fairly cool" I mean 84 degrees. Hasn't hit the 90s yet. I am trying to hold it together. I am blessed with a family who loves me unconditionally and are doing their best to overlook my frustration. I feel fat, ugly, sweaty and I'm becoming hard to live with. For three days in a row I've become excited because I see work trucks in my neighborhood, only to discover they are from the cable company and not AEP. I drive around my neighborhood trying not to cry as I see all the dark houses and no AEP truck in sight. I have wonderful, beautiful friends who are all inviting me to their homes to stay with them. If it was just me, I would be accepting each and every invitation. I did in fact spend one night with my friend Joyce Mitchum. But it's hard to leave. Timmy doesn't want to leave the house, we do have to keep it going for sure. Timmy is laid back and easy going. He could sleep on a rock in the desert. I'm a "bit" more high strung and feisty. I'm an insomniac in normal times and it's 100% worse when I'm hot. I also have my mom who also doesn't like to leave her home. We have to talk hard just to get her to stay with us. I don't like her being at her house by herself with no electricity. The night I spent with Joyce was so good but I felt horrible leaving Timmy and my mom behind. I try to leave the house during the day but driving around is so stressful. Street lights are still out making all intersections 4 way stops. Each stop has at least one fool who doesn't heed and puts everyone in danger. So I come home because I can't deal with that. I would love to go to Houston and stay with Desi but who knows what the roads are like. Plus again, I would be leaving Timmy and my mom behind. I just can't do it. This post is far from uplifting and positive. I know it as I'm writing it. I'm sorry. If I wrote a post that was uplifting it would be fake and not from my heart. I have to keeping telling myself to quit whining and be grateful. I am so blessed. I have so much. I look at Facebook and I see what others have lost and what they are going through. My loss and experience are small compared to those. My mom told me this morning "this is hard but it's not gonna kill us." "That's true" I told her. "I just hope y'all don't kill me!" I waited for her to tell me "no, we won't kill you" but it never came. I think I'd better check my attitude!! President Trump declared today a National Day of Prayer. I didn't go to church this morning but I think I'll get off this pity train and get to praying. Last night I thought of the story of Paul & Silas. They were beaten and put in prison. At night they sang and praised God. As they praised there was an earthquake and all of the doors were open. So I will spend today praising and praying to God. I will be praying for all of you as well. Forgive me for being whiney.