Timmy & I spent 4th of July weekend in Port Aransas with my son and his family. While I was excited about spending this time with my family I was also a bit “stressed” about all the work I had to do. So I packed my laptop with me. I worked on my laptop in the truck on the way to Port Aransas. I carried it in as soon as we arrived and plugged it in near the kitchen table.
We had wonderful time – we went out to dinner for Jessica’s birthday, we went to an ice cream parlor where we had ice cream on a warm brownie, we went to the beach and played in the warm water. We watched the sunset. I love being with my family. But the minute we would get back to the house, I would put on my glasses, open my laptop and go to work.
On our last morning I was in the bedroom with my laptop - editing photos. My granddaughters ran in, jumped on the bed, threw my hat on top of my lap top and said "Grandma! We are on vacation - stop working!!" I looked at their sweet little faces and felt so bad. So, I apologized to my baby girls, closed my laptop and came out of the bedroom into the land of the living. I made every effort to be present with my family while still feeling guilty for not working.
This is what my life has become. Let me preface by saying I absolutely love with I do. I am so proud of what I have accomplished, what I have built with my business. But I feel I've sort of lost my way. Something has to give.
I have had some hard conversations with myself these past few weeks. I’ve done a lot of praying. I need to find some balance but I know in my heart what that meant. I have made the hard decision to discontinue what I love the most - photographing weddings and parties. I just can't anymore. I have worked so hard to build this business to where it is but weddings are taking a huge toll on me. It is physically exhausting and the photos take weeks and weeks to edit. I have thought about outsourcing my editing and even tried that last year. I sent some photos to a highly recommended editing company and just wasn't impressed. I redid them when I got them back. I'm too much of a control freak I guess. Plus I want to give my clients perfectly edited photos that they will love - not just a quick rush job. I know I'm going to miss the weddings tremendously - I love doing them so much!! I have several weddings already booked this year and I am going to savor each and every one of those. I will continue to offer all other photography including Engagement and Bridal shoots plus of course the Bridal Boudoir!!
I want to thank each and every bride and groom and their families for trusting me to capture your wedding memories. I have fallen in love with each and every one of you. I will continue to stalk you on Facebook and smile as I watch your journey through life. I am proud when you buy your first home. I tear up when you announce your pregnancies. I am cheering you as you start your new job. I look at every one of your vacation photos. You are a part of my heart forever.
I’m disappointed about not being able to do weddings but I’m excited about spending more time behind the camera and less time in front of the laptop. I am going to try hard to see this not as a failure but as an opportunity for something new. One closed door allows another to open. So I'm looking forward to what is behind Door #3.